IMG_7751

I don’t think I have told you how much I love vegetables.  Apart from the one vegetable I class as an abomination, all the rest of them are welcome in my house.  But there is only so much boiling you can do.  I’ve been braising celery hearts in vegetable stock until they are soft and tender, roasting trays of broccoli with chickpeas for orzo salads, and grilling red peppers until their skin blackens and blister.

IMG_7755

But the beauty of brussels comes when they are roasted.  Wash, halve, toss in a splash of olive oil with crunch sea salt flakes and coarse black pepper.  Roast in a hot (200o/c) oven for 20-30mins until they are soft and the skins are browning.

IMG_7759

IMG_7748

I didn’t think I needed a glue gun until I met Pinterest.  I finally caved and bought one, mainly so I could make these cute little sewing kits.  You will need: a preserving/canning jar with a two piece lid

IMG_7741

Some kind of wadding or loose fabric scraps you have around the house. Pile these up on top of the inside of the like this:

IMG_7743

Cut out a circle of fabric and arrange it like this.

IMG_7744

Tightly bring the edges up bit by bit and glue them securely into place.  I also cut a disc of fabric to cover the bottom so it doesn’t look so shabby.

IMG_7745

Add the sec on part of the canning lid and you can glue this together but make sure you can still screw the lid shut.

IMG_7746

Screw this onto the jar which you can fill with handy sewing accessories.

IMG_7749

And pop some pins in the top.  You’re done!

Cat V Christmas

Once a year, the Feeder and the Woman bring a murdered tree inside the house.  They parade it through the dining room into the lounge with “Look, Bear! A tree!”  They attach it to a metal stand and leave it there for a couple of days.  I am told not to chew it.  I chew it anyway.

On the second or third day they go into the SCARY LOFT and bring down boxes.  You must run away from these.  Humans do not have claws so I do not know how they grip such large items.  They could drop them on us.  These boxes contain strange things.  Shiny round things with small strings.  String that is fluffy and glittery all at once.  A weird cuddly toy dressed as a fairy.  Tangled wires that light up.  It is witchcraft.

They then proceed to mock the dead tree in the lounge.  They dress it up like some weird trophy with the lights on a string and the fluffy glittery string.  Did they kill the tree though? Are they capable of killing a tree?  I doubt it. They add the sparkly weird ball things to it too.  I am told not to molest these.  I will wait until they go out and knock the ones I can reach to the ground and kick them under the sofa.

Robot Eyes Cat

They wrap things up in shiny paper and put them under the tree.  Maybe an offering to the Tree Gods as repayment for their tree murdering sins. They also “decorate” with weird odd shaped sacks called “stockings”.  The Humans get ones of these each.  I have to share mine with my sister.  This is unfair, cruel and against my rights as the Alpha Female of the house.  They fill them with small things wrapped in more shiny paper.

The Humans will be at home at strange times during the day, go to bed a lot later and wake up even later than normal.  This will undoubtedly affect your normal feeding routine, regardless of them putting enough food down for you and a marked increase of Dreamies throughout the day.  Make this well known to The Humans that this is, in fact, unacceptable.

Tinsel Cat

The Woman and Feeder drink a thing called Mulled Wine.  It smells terrible.  I think it posions their minds into thinking that we do, in fact, need a hug.  I do not need a hug. Nor do I need dressing up.

Then one morning, they will get up and open some of the things they wrapped in the shiny paper.  They say “thank you” a lot.  They wave things in front of my face and open them too.  Sometimes they contain Dreamies.  Sometimes they do not.  My sister will come and play with the wrapping paper.  I will not lower myself to such frivolities.

The Humans will then take the rest of the shiny wrapped things away for a few hours then return with bags of “gifts” then return to cook the mother of all roast dinners.  They use the fancy tableware.  My sister will harangue them for bits of turkey but I will tell her “Only eat it if it is warm. If it is cold; they do not love you”.  She understands this.  I think.

Christmas Light Cat

They will then sit down.  Drinking more poison and eyeing me up for a hug.  Sit with them on the sofa, just out of arms reach so they don’t wrap you in fairy lights.

IMG_7731I made fig rolls last year and explained that I was struggling to go “full Christmas” so early on in the year.  Now it is December, I have revisited these little buttery fig rolls and injected a festive twist. The spiced sugar coating adds an extra punch of festivity.

IMG_7726

IMG_7729Ingredients

Fig Filling
250gr dried ready to eat figs
1/2 tsp mixed spice
1/2 tsp fresh orange zest
Small pinch of salt
Water
Biscuit Dough
250gr plain flour
170gr cold butter
70gr caster sugar
2 egg yolks
Tiny pinch of salt

IMG_7725Method

1, First get your fig filling on the go.  This needs to be cold when you use it.
2, Cut each of the figs into quarters and put in a medium saucepan over a low heat.  Add a couple of large splashes of water with the mixed spice and zest and put on the lid.  You’ll need to simmer these really gently until soft. You might need to add more water but don’t be tempted to drown them.  I smooshed mine with the back of a wooden spoon a bit to break them down.
3, When the figs are soft, blend in a food processor. Return them to the pan, and over a low heat, cook until you have a thickish paste consistency. Remove from the heat, transfer to a small bowl and leave to cool completely.
4, To make the biscuit dough, sift the flour into a large bowl, cut up the cold butter and rub together with your fingertips until you have a lumpy bread crumb type consistency.
5, Stir through the sugar and then add in the egg yolks.  Bring the dough together using your hands and flatten into a disc before wrapping in clingfilm and sticking in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.
6, When you have chilled biscuit dough and cold fillling, dust your worktop with flour and roll the biscuit dough out to a rectangle which is roughly 15 cm by 40cm   Cut down the middle of the dough so you have two long strips. Add half the fig mixture to each dough strip by spooning it, just off centre, down the dough strip.
7, Fold the edges of the biscuit dough around the fig mixture. I rolled mine over slightly so the join was on the bottom.  You should now have two logs. Flatten these slightly and cut these into 4-5cm sections and place on a lined baking tray.
8, Bake these in a preheated oven at 190o/c for 20-25minutes until gold brown. Remove from the oven and leave to cool completely on a wire rack before eating. You really don’t want to attempt to put one of these in your mouth when they are hot; the filling is the temperature of lava. Trust me (and my burnt lip).

IMG_7732

 

Spiced Sugar Coating

Mix together 1/2tsp of mixed spice, 1tsp fresh orange zest and 2tbsp of caster sugar together.  Sprinkle over warm fig rolls.

 

photo 5

At the end of every Christmas season, you will have the obligatory basket of nuts.  Someone has already picked out all the walnuts and they are the last thing standing; even after someone has finished off the toffee pennies in the Quality Streets tin. Why not use some of them up for a long lasting decoration?  You will need a couple of things:

photo 1

A glue gun.

photo 2

A small 12cm foam ring.

photo 3

Nuts.

photo 4

Simply glue the nuts around the form and then fill in the gaps with bits of knotted garden twine and springs of fir.  Add on a little bow and something to hang it up with.  A handy glue gun tip – you can blast those little annoying glue strings away with a hairdryer.